Imagine a situation where directness is prized above all else. As a result people deliver harsh or blunt feedback because they need to get on with other things.
Now, imagine another situation where people deliver kind and accommodating feedback. They overlook mistakes or issues. They do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
The first scenario produces toxic feedback from jerks that drives people away, shuts people down or results in passive aggressive behavior depending on power dynamics. It can also result in equally toxic blow back in families… those screaming matches with name calling and slammed doors. Both situations produce a mean and toxic environment.
The other ignores issues or saves people from taking responsibility. The feedback is wishy-washy and leaves much up to speculation.
Helpful feedback is genuine
At TIGERS® Success Series, we teach that giving respectfully, sincere, frank and forthright feedback is a matter of self-development. We know that everyone brings skills or tactics learned in their families to the workplace. What is needed is effective genuineness soft-skill training that softens both extremes of harsh to wishy-washy.
Learning how to be respectfully, sincere, frank and forthright allows people to speak up and share their insights. People learn how to disagree and debate issues so better decisions are made. It helps people establish their boundaries and to surface problems before real trouble evolves. But it has to be done with skill that results in understanding and better ways of doing things. Without it, how can challenges be resolved in cooperative ways that build trustworthy and successful work and family relationships?
What helpful feedback resources are available?
In our new book, Becoming TIGERS – Leading Your Team to Success, our protagonist Derek, learns the hard way how his feedback behavior needs to improve. He also learned that trust was a core issue for himself and his team.
Frequently trust and genuineness go hand-in-hand. If someone has been harsh and critical, flipping the switch to give feedback that is respectfully, sincere, frank and forthright without rebuilding some trust contributes to suspicion. Frequently humility, reconciliation and forgiveness are required.
The bottom line is that how you deliver feedback as a manager, co-worker or parent is a direct indicator of how successful your team or family is.
Copyright TIGERS Success Series, Inc. by Dianne Crampton
About TIGERS Success Series, Inc.
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